Angielskie

Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people), like NIKE (just do it), like PEPSI (ask for more), like SAMSON (everyone is invited), like Coca-Cola (enjoy)

If you want to be my friend, take my penis in your hand.

You are VIP = Very Imbecil Person.

We’re planning a picnic in the park this Saturday at noon. Bring a blanket and join us! 🧺

You’re like a human version of a Monday… but the kind of Monday that you actually like. 😎

How’s your day going? I’m currently surviving on coffee and sarcasm. ☕😏

Just a friendly reminder that you’re amazing… even if you forget to reply to my texts. 😉

I’m craving something sweet… like a donut. Or cake. Or maybe just an entire bakery. 🍩😆

If I were a dog, I’d totally wag my tail every time I see you. But since I’m not… you just get a smiley face 😊🐾

My weekend plans include doing absolutely nothing. Wanna join me? 🛋️😜

Did you know that sloths can hold their breath longer than dolphins? Be like a sloth today—take it easy! 🦥😅

I just had a brain freeze from thinking too hard. I think I’ll stick to daydreaming. 🤯😜

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what I’m doing, I’d be rich enough to quit my job. 💼😅

I’m not saying coffee is my soulmate… but it definitely understands me better than most people. ☕💖